Medication Deprivation

Since my last update I have undergone many changes none of which have resulted in me eating better or in the gym. Due to various social events I did not have access to my medication for a day. The day after I was simply too lazy to find it and take it. After that it became somewhat of an experiment. I did some research but decided to ignore the warnings and tried to quit Lexapro cold turkey.

It wasn't too bad for the first few days. I developed "brain zaps" and a slight headache around three days in. On Wednesday I had one of the worst headaches that I can remember and could barely walk around. I stayed up till 12:30 despite going to bed at 10:30. I ended that night with two allergy pills and half my prescribed dose of Lexapro to make the day after easier. Since then I've decided to ween myself off of the medication taking around half my medication less and less. I've been experiencing only mild headaches and no brain zaps. However my eating and sleeping habits are currently terrible. I'm staying up late to do homework and eating more and worse foods to deal with the stress. I woke up the other day feeling incredibly fat. Hopefully once all this school work ends I'll be stress free and can eat right and begin exercising.

We'll see how many excuses I continue to make to keep from doing either of these things.

Progress Report

As of today, I've stuck to my diet except for a grad party each week. I'm taking in a healthy amount of fats, carbs and proteins and have seen a noticeable difference in my physical appearance and strength. I feel much better about myself physically, but I havn't been able to go to the gym yet. And that is crucial in my plan. I've constantly made excuses not to go, and some are legitimate such as catching up on school work, or not having clothes (which I may have purposefully forgot).

Despite all of this, I feel a coldness creeping into me again. I hardness of my heart which results in my general lack of empathy. I decided to turn away from my best friend, perhaps out of convenience. The worst part is that I can live with that decision, turning away from the person who loves me the most. My quick temper is coming back as well, I easily become irritated and even angry at this point. I'll have to weather out this storm and hope for calmer seas later on.